My Princess Diary

GuIlTy

felt so guilty today
why?
becoz i have more or less made up my fickled mind tt i am gg to leave
yes........again.........i am doing it again...... =((
not tt i want to, but as i was saying, tt nite while updating my resume, i realised tt i am not gg anywhere if i stay on in this job
true tt i like it, beside the location and work. but its not gg to bring me anywhere........

ok, back to the topic why i was feeling guilty.
coz i was happily doing my work, as usual.
and then suddenlty at 630pm, tt left hand woman wants to have a discussion with boss
and then i was asked to sit in
then she blah blah blah abt the campus project and then she said she has 101 things to do and NO TIME!!!
hello? who has time? i also no time lor
i no time to meet my dear, no time to take care of the little niece, no time for my family, no time for my personal stuff..........am i complaining??!!?? ok ok, i did complained.....so what? she is the workaholic type........she dun needs personal time, she just need time for work. anyway, tts beyond the story. the story is she yak abt she having to do the minutes. she yak abt doing the tabulation, she yaks abt doing this and tt. so boss helped her to delegate the work load and then ta da, out of the list, she only has to do 2 things and the rest is split b/w me and another drafter!!!! *faint*
which is fine with me, afterall i am leaving........hehehe
so i will just do it to the best of my ability even though, i know tt will not get past her.......hehehe
she will surely redo it to her own standard. so be it. so i will just do it my style and she go amend it to whatever way she wants.

boss also told her not to carry everything upon her. delegate!! tts the word he used but he and i knew very well tt she will not be able to do it. coz she PERFECTIONIST so everything must go thru her. but what to do?

anyway, at 730pm she left, leaving me and boss ard. i stayed on to clear the vietnam trip and then we had a small talk. i realied tt left hand woman told him many things. which is fine with me. coz she told me not to tell anyone but she went to tell him so now i better be careful. not to leak out too many things coz she might go and tell boss on what i has said. which is a no no.

boss told me tt she has no friends. and i am one of her few friends. so i should try to talk to her as much as i can and ask her to "kan kai yi dian". i already told her what i want to say on monday. its basic stuff, and i am sure everybody knows "co will not die without u. no one is indispensable. co can easily replace u. but the people who grieve for u and cry for u is ur family and friends" i dun think i need to elaborate much. its all for her to go graspe the jeez of it. how much she can understand from it, its all up to individual liao. afterall, she is a career minded lady not me!! hehehe =))

i asked her what she wants in life and where she hopes her career will lead her to. her reply is tt she is more of a career woman. dun wish to spend too much time with family. even having her boy. she said in fact she didn't plan for a baby. but i can tell u lor, the boy brought her many joys!! and i told her tt i am not career minded, i worked for money. =P

ok, one other thing tt shock me was, boss told her tt since she is busy, he will help talked to chairman to release her on the ad hoc project. actually, from wat i understand from boss is tt, she only needs to cut and paste from her one of her previous creations.........but from what i gathered from her, she needs to sit down, and come out with a new design for the project!!! see, can faint rite? chairman said one thing, she interpreted it into another. and boss shaked head. so i asked him "so just now u hit chest said u will tell chairman. now what u gg to tell chairman?" he told me "i will have to do it." i stared at him, so wei da..........

both of us know tt she something wrong somewhere. hehe......not crazy ok. just tt she takes her work too seriously and not flexible enough. my guess is if she wants to move further up, she has to change her way and her style.

he told me he is not trying to load me, just tt now the major thingy tt i am handing is the campus project so he "delegated" some of her work over to me to lighten her, if i cannot do it, then i must voice out. i told him ok.........tts when i felt guilty........i wanted to tell him there and then tt i dun like my job and i am quitting. but he is already so vex now, do i want to add on to it........sigh........so i think got to stick to original plan. in the meantime just do my work to the best of my ability and get paid for my hard work........ =))

i felt even guiltier when we were having small talks. sigh........he is "leaking" infor to me but to me, i am just absorbing like "who cares".........sigh........i really feel guilty and bad u know........its tt life??!!?? if i stay, where will i be heading to.........i also not sure myself.......stay and find out or just move on........tts the issue now. make my head big big

tts why i said i left the decision to UPSTAIRS as dear also has his fair share of headaches.......i also dun want to be add on my problem to dear's.........1 or 2 fishes??!!?? hehehe.......think u guys know the answer rite?? =P maybe someone may enlighten me further.........

posted by yee2 @ Tuesday, February 26, 2008